I voted "maybe" because I've been in exactly this same situation a couple of times, and sometimes it does work, but everyone must be pretty mature about it. In the case it worked for me, she became just as close a friend to me as she was to him, but in cases where its a "hidden" relationship, it can be prone to generating lots of jealousy. In my cases, the relationships all broke up for completely unrelated reasons, but YMMV..
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfiniteNow
The concept of fidelity works differently for males in females (in general). Males tend to be more hurt by sexual infidelity, since we want the female to be the vehicle of our offspring/carry on our genes. Females tend to be more hurt by emotional infidelity, since they want the males to care for them and their offspring.
|
This might sound sexist, but I actually agree with it. The caveat is that while emotional infidelity is bad enough, sexual infidelity is much worse. You can't win guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfiniteNow
This simple fact is that if it bothers his current girlfriend and he's not willing to walk away for the benefit of the current relationship, then his priorities seem misaligned with yours.
|
I'll third this advice, but realize that the answer to the ultimatum without "justification" (in that odd male sense of the term), is not going to be the answer you want. Even if he is willing to give up his friend for you, what does that say about how he views *all* relationships? Does he just choose which ever one looks best right now? How shallow.
I've always found it more useful to insist on "sharing" his friend, which is a lot harder to refuse to do without making it look like there actually is emotional infidelity going on: guys don't seem to like to share what they have either...
Oddly, its seemed to me that male jelousy turns into possessiveness, while females will often push away even if it comes out verbally as being possessive. So...
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfiniteNow
How are you in the kitchen?  |
I cook, you have to clean up afterward to my specs or you're outta here.
You get one chance only,
Buffy
