Imagine how long your autobiography is going to be if this is a short story!
Very wise, smart, perceptive, kind, extremly wise cop.
There used to be some around 'in my day'
Now they are so tied up with procedures, ant-corruption laws and rules they have no room for discretion. They need LESS training now I reckon.
So what happened when you went back to school?
Your "
street cred." must have been awesome!
My first bike was a Honda 90.(CCs!)
It was faster than Triumph and big English bikes and faster on lights take off than any car.
I lost a lot of skin with that bike but loved it, my first taste of pure freedom.
Of course it was the pits in wet, cold weather. Who had the money for proper leathers?
My cop story
My first from "new" car was a Datsun 1000 (That's CCs: I was always looking for raw-grunt and power!-it was cheap!). I drove it until it almost fell apart. Finally, I used it mainly to get me to the station a ten minute run -about all it could mange by the time this story took place.
One terrible day I missed my train to get to work (1 hour 30 minute train trip to Sydney)
So thought I'd drive half the way in my battered old Datsun. I parked, got a city line train and got to work late. My Boss was pissed. The day went from bad to worse. Everything that could go wrong did.
Late afternoon I got a call from my wife 'could I please come home early' as she was sick. (She may have been having a miscarriage). Pissing the boss of even more I left early got the train to where my car was parked and "O great a
very FLAT tire"
Did I mention the Old Girl was on her last legs?
Very little tread left on the tires and the breaks could not be put on in a hurry as you swerved violently to the left (We drive on the left so this is likely to lead you into an unhealthy relationship with a Power Pole).
The dogs had also eaten the back seat (another story).
Anyway the tire was a bastard to get off. It was dark by the time I had finished changing the tire. My office suit and I were oiled, cranky, tired, late and grubby.
I was by this time getting very worried about my wife.
So off I took up the road heading at breakneck speed for the expressway.
The cops had just introduced radar.
I was speeding up the dark road totally absorbed in my own worry and misery when this ghastly apparition jumped out in front of me :- A cop with a "Stop Police" sign. Startled and terrified I slammed on the brakes and, of course the car veered violently left, straight at the cop.
OMG< manslaughter!.
I quickly stopped breaking and the car veered straight.
Eventually the car stopped about 250 yards up the road.
I was gone!
The car would probably get defect notices?
Would I loose my licence?
How would I get to work then?
I was shaking like a leaf.
Finally a puffing, panting, red faced, young cop appeared at my window.
"I thought you were going to take me out"!!!! he exclaimed, breathlessly!
At this point I broke down and started to cry.
Weepingly I told him of my day: late, sob, boss, train sob sob, drive, sob wife, sick sob, boss cranky, sob flat tire sob sob, sob, sob.
"OK" he said, clearly embarrassed and bemused by my unmanly display, this time I'll let you off with a caution - and he promply disappeared.
I didn't know what a "caution" was so I waited a while till it finally dawned he was not coming back with a gift-wrapped "caution" in a box.
Delighted, that i was not behind bars, I made my way, very slowly, home.
I did try the crying trick a couple of times after that and it worked like a charm.
Saving a few speeding tickets. My friends were amazed that I continually talked my way out of beeing booked. Often asking for my secret. I would regale them with tales of my superior knowledge of psychology, empathy,body language and interpersonal communication.
I needed to do this out of earshot of my wife who, if she over-heard me, would cruelly tell them the real reason I continually got off:
"He crys !"
"He wahts?" my amazed, disbelieving friends would say.
She of course, the hard woman she is, would then continue with stories of my grovelling pathetic-ness and crocodile tears.
Now days of course, nothing works. You just can't stop the well trained, police- patter once it starts.
Though later, I did notice that the police changed the way they stopped speeding cars caught by radar shortly after this happened to me. No more sudden jumping out from the side of the road with silly signs.
