Quote:
Originally Posted by bochen2
...so could this be subconsciously programed and ingrained into my psyche and I just react to it like a reflex without even thinking or knowing about it? Is this [there?] a reason or cause to this?
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Yep, ...but not one that you can pinpoint, define, or understand with 100% success. As you said, "...subconsciously programed and ingrained into my psyche."
I won't try to say if this is due to some explicit or implicit neglect/abuse, or if it is
most likely from the so very normal "warping" which growing up in a family must almost unavoidably create; but....
IMO, it would be odd if you didn't have some galvanic response when folks enter into your space (consciousness). ...And wondering about it, ...noticing it, makes it that much more forceful in your consciousness (and subconsciousness).
But either way, it is a great motivator. Explore your memories, explore your goals and motives/ethics; read about therapies and theories of psychology. Ask (someday maybe); it's possible your father experienced something similar growing up with his family.
From one perspective, that's a father's job; that is, to make you think (what have I done wrong...what should I do right....), and to motivate you to want your own reality ...and get away from that nagging consciousness.
... & Expect to wait for a few more cycles of development and experience to be in the past before you can more fully understand and integrate these kinds of feelings.
Cheers!
~
p.s.
And realize that you are the eyes of your ancestors hopes, dreams, and struggles; still waiting to see how this will all work out.
What a privilege to be here on Earth, at this exciting time.
