Science Forums 2

[Boerseun]

Well, after a fungus infection killed off my one fern, we had to get rid of all the plants in the house. And so my sister thought it was very funny to get me a little plant for my birthday, in a cute little terracotta pot. All awesome. Except for the fact that it's a marijuana plant. Weed, indeed. A Pot-plant, no less. So, "Robert", as we've christened him (after Robert Plant, of course), lives indoors and out, so he gets some sun during the day.

Which was not a good idea at all. Because, see, last July the woman thought that geese are cute. So she got two goslings in varying stages of cuteness. And the goslings did what goslings do best, they grow up at a hell of a rate eating anything in the garden that's either green or has more than four legs. And they like totally crap all over everything. And they eat. God, do they eat. Apparently, three geese eats as much as an adult sheep. But we've only got two. So, if you can picture two-thirds of a sheep grazing in your garden, that's about as much damage as they'd do. Okay - apart from bleeding profusely, two-thirds of a sheep won't do much (but goes great in a curry - provided you have a big enough pot) - but you get the idea. Or think of how a whole sheep will destroy your garden and take a little off, and you'll feel my pain having two geese on the lawn.

So - cutting a long story short, after the geese-blitz, there's not so much green stuff left in my garden. Except, of course, for mister Robert Plant. And I got home the other day, being met at the gate by a very odd-looking goose. His one eye was staring at a spot on the floor, and the other eyeball was trained squarely on the outside tap. His head was doing the whole "walk-like-an-Egyptian" thing, whilst quacking away in beat to the neighbour's dog yapping at his back door. And Robert Plant was now a sad little stump of less than a centimeter sticking out of a very empty pot.

My goose was well and truly cooked.

But in answer to the original post, I sadly have now no plants, indoor or out. 'Cause my goose got the munchies when he was tripping and ate what was left of my lawn.