Science Forums 2

[lemit]

bochen2,

I know exactly what you are going through. I too went through it with my parents when they were still alive, but I learned to manage the reaction.

The way I dealt with it was to accept it as a legitimate part of myself, although I never fully understood its foundations. With the acceptance that part of me seemed to be afraid of my parents (whom I loved very much and now miss every day), I was able to make the fear reaction shorter and shorter, until it was finally more a memory than a feeling.

A very important multiplier of the reaction is the embarrassment it causes. You become afraid you're going to look like you're afraid.

I gained the ability to process those complex, inexplicable emotions by going through six years of therapy. I would recommend it. Who knows, maybe even if you can't deal with those emotions, you can deal with enough other emotions to diffuse the internal complexities and gain the space to handle your fear reactions.

Good luck.

--lemit