Does this look familiar?
Quote:
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s," and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c," "y" and "x"--bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez--tu riplais "ch," "sh," and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
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There are reasons people study Twain with almost the care devoted to Shakespeare. He is that important to our culture. If a few more people would study Twain, then maybe we could expand on his humor instead of simply repeating it.
--lemit
(adopting Twain's late, angry mode)
p.s. The source, even the authorship, of this quote is under dispute. I will stick with Twain, although I'm not sure where he originally published it. His autobiography? It would fit there, since anything would fit there. Say, have you ever heard the story about Grandpa and the ram? You see, Grandpa was bending down . . . .
