Bullying. Any ideas on how to stop it?

[Moontanman]

[Michaelangelica]

Originally Posted by enorbet2

Sorry for this little top post but I have yet to learn how to handle lists with the aplomb that you do Michaelangelica so please bear with me. In the interest of time I will fumble around as best I can, even if it is crude.

Your doing really well. It took me a year to find some things here and I still have not explored all of hypography's 'nooks and crannies'!

I don't think I really disagree with you much. Just that we need to test your assumptions, perhaps. Thanks for the clarification of my simplification.

On cats, i raised them mainly for my kids. I believe kids need to know how to treat animals. i always had animals as a kid (dogs, cats, rabbits, birds anything legal). My wife was not allowed pets.
The kids basically helped deliver most kittens (so it was a good biology lesson too!) and had them dressed in "baby clothes" before they could open their eyes! I think this very early handling helped give the kittens the wonderful temperaments they all had.
One mother cat decided enough was enough, and had her kittens in a cave in a big pile of rocks on our property (a small farm). These kittens were really wild. It took us some time to catch and tame them; and they never did have the trusting gentle nature that the handled "gentled"? cats/kittens did.
i don't know what this proves re humans or bullies, but is interesting nevertheless.

Originally Posted by enorbet
One minor point -
I think it is mistaken to equate bullies with alpha males.

Yes I agree. Women and men all jostle for social position and group status but that does not always involve bulling.
In Transactional Analysis they say that some people who feel insecure or inadequate ("I'M not OK") bully because this gives them rewards or 'strokes' their ego. It proves "I'm OK, Your Not OK. "I am at least better than this nerd!" ( See Dorothy Jongeward's Book "I'm OK Your OK"). Perhaps this is the reason the school programme i mentioned,--where kids were taught that bullies were inadequate and to be puttied-- worked so well.

[Michaelangelica]

I didn't look at this TV program tonight, but should have. Some very talented counsellors working with an ordinary class of primary School kids. The bits I did see were great and touched on this topic. Anyone involved in eduction should watch it. (You may have to download the free Iview programme first?)
ABC iView | Internet TV Service

Kids' Business

Over a year at a central Victorian Primary School we get to know a group of typical but extraordinary 12 year olds. This is a film about kids and violence. It is also a film about children learning how to talk about their lives.

Once a week this school holds a special class where these grade 5 and 6 kids learn how to talk about their lives. Most importantly they learn how to talk to their parents about what matters to them.

For one hour, facilitator Bernadette Wright encourages them to talk candidly about their lives. They talk about relationships with their families, about bullying and about violence both at school and controversially, at home.

Live Online Forum - Thursday 11th June 10:20pm-11:30pm AEST

Documentaries - Kids' Business

[Michaelangelica]

Just found this,
A growing problem

Cyber-bullying
Classroom
February 2005; Pages 18–19
Anne Bamford

With the increase in Internet usage and the proliferation of mobile phones, especially amongst the young, there has been a growing incidence of cyber-bullying, the use of the technology as a means to intimidate and harm others. Bamford identifies the different kinds of cyber-bullying, including anonymity, the use of pseudonyms, masquerading as someone else, flaming, outing and exclusion, and explains the kinds of actions teachers, and, more generally, adults can take to reduce its occurrence. Those actions include educating young people in critical media literacies, instilling in them a ‘sense of right and wrong’, and working with them in the ‘virtual environment’ to promote positive uses of the technologies. Bamford also calls for professional development for teachers in cyber-safety.

and this amazing list at
Teacher Resources

Bullying Sites:
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Kansas Bullying Prevention Program – suggested links to bullying sites
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Bullies - Teachers.Net - TEACHERS.NET GAZETTE - Teachers.Net Gazette provides news from Teachers.Net direct to teachers around the world. Teachers.Net features 24 hour discussions with teachers around the globe. Early childhood chatboard primary elementary cha - Bully Advice For Kids
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Bullying - www.bullying.org Where you are NOT alone! Created by Bill Belsey - "is a non-profit, multiple award-winning project created to help others. People can contribute their personal stories, poems, music, drawings, voices (audio files), and even animations and films."
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Anti-Bullying Network - Anti-Bullying Network - from the The University of Edinburgh. “The material which we produce may be copied or downloaded for non-commercial use in schools or other establishments providing the Anti-Bullying Network is credited.”
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Anti-Bullying Unit - http://www.onthenet.com.au/~townsend/anti-bullying.htm - “Wendy Townsend teaches in Miami State High School in Queensland, Australia. This is her Internet-based Grade 7 classroom unit on anti-bullying, for which she has thoughtfully appended the worksheets she hands out.”
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Bullying Online - Bullying UK - The UK's Leading Anti-bullying Charity 1999-2009 “Help and advice for Victims of bullying, their Parents and school”
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Bullying at School - http://www.scre.ac.uk/bully/ - “SCRE's involvement in issues of bullying stem from research conducted in the 1990s into bullying in schools and the effectiveness of various approaches to its prevention. Details of this research are available in the two Spotlight briefing papers listed below, which are available on the SCRE website.”
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Bullying in Schools and What to Do About It - New Page 1 - “These pages will inform you of what educationalists and researchers have discovered in the last few years about bullying and harassment and the practical suggestions that are now being made to overcome this age-old and troublesome problem.”
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Bullying – No Way! - Bullying. No way! From Australia
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Stop Bullying Now - Stop Bullying Now - “The links on this site will lead you through an exploration of interventions that work to reduce bullying in schools.”
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Stop Bullying Now
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Bullying - http://www.sortit.org.uk/bullying.htm - “Are you being bullied?
Sometimes school work is the least of your problems. There may be something else worrying you. Some children are bullied at school or elsewhere and it can be very hard for them to know who to talk to. They may feel it just isn't cool to 'grass' on the bully. But something has to be done. If this is happening to you, read this page carefully. You can get help.”
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Bullying – what is it? Page moved to ... - “Types of bullying, bullying tactics, how targets are selected, the difference between bullying and harassment. An answer to the question "Why me?"
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BBC Site on Bullying - http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/bullying/ - “Bullying is a problem that faces thousands of people every day, but it can be prevented. The links and resources on this page explain how you can stop bullying.
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Colorado’s Anti-Bullying Project - Online Pills Store Onlinepillspro.com
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Stop Bullying Now - Education World ® Lesson Planning: Stop Bullying Now! - “lessons designed to teach students to respect diversity and resolve ideological differences peacefully. Included: ten activities for teaching kids about empathy, anger management, and effective conflict resolution.”
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Bullying Resources - Awesome Library - Counselor - Conflict Prevention and Mediation - Bullying - links to bullying resources
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Maine Project Against Bullying Internet Resources – Resourses - Maine Project Against Bullying - “offers information about practices that promote school safety”
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Bullying Sites Suggested by EduHound Newsletter:
bullet NEA: National Bullying Awareness Campaign (NBAC) NEA - 404: Page not found
bullet Maine Project Against Bullying - Maine Project Against Bullying
Stop Bullying Now! - Stop Bullying Now
bullet Dealing with Bullies - Kidscape - Page Moved
bullet Education World Special Theme: Bullying Education World®: Special Theme: Bullying
bullet No Bullies - Colorado's Anti-Bullying Project - http://www.no- bully.com - Provides information and resources for teachers, parents, and students regarding bullying and bullying prevention.

[Michaelangelica]

School bully victim David Gregory gets $468,000 compensation
Article from: The Daily Telegraph
By Larissa Cummings
June 19, 2009 05:50pm

A MAN who claims his high school teachers turned a blind eye while he was violently bullied and harrassed by classmates has been awarded almost half a million dollars in damages from the State Government.(+ costs = $1 mil)

David Gregory, 30, claims he was subjected to "consistent and systematic bullying" during his six years as a student at Farrer Memorial Agricultural High School in Tamworth in the early to mid 90's.

The former boarding school dormitory master, who was in court with his family to hear the Supreme Court judgement in his favour, says the bullying made him agoraphobic, obsessive-compulsive and unable to hold down a job.

School bully victim David Gregory gets $468,000 compensation | The Daily Telegraph


We might have some N.S.W. Government educationalists looking up the links in this thread over the next little while?

David Gregory sued the state of New South Wales after suffering years of humiliation and bullying while attending Farrer Agricultural High School in the state's north.

Justice Elizabeth Fullerton handed down a 112-page judgment awarding Mr Gregory $468,736 for economic losses and future loss of earnings.
Future therapeutic costs must also be agreed upon, she said.

So, $1mil + Psychiatrist and/or psychologist at $150 and hour for evermore=$?. )
Bully victim awarded more than $450k | National News | News.com.au

[Moontanman]

An interesting possibility.....

Beating The Bullies: Changing Real-world Behavior Through Virtual Experience
ScienceDaily (June 23, 2009) — Social problems like bullying and stereotyping involve thoughts, feelings and reactions that resist change. New research shows that when students play active roles in virtual dramas their attitudes and behaviour can change.

Beating The Bullies: Changing Real-world Behavior Through Virtual Experience

[Kriminal99]

Question... How do they define "delusional" in Britain? Because I could easily imagine a situation where they call anyone who deviates from social norms "delusional" in a country that isn't as much of a melting pot as the US is.

I ask because people who are bullied and react by categorizing the offending behavior as wrong may be more likely to develop a strong system of morals and beliefs that would hold priority to them over just social norms. Such people are often called delusional, arrogant etc. Other times they are called heroes, geniuses etc.

If it happened to my kid, I would teach him whatever he needed to know to stand up for himself. If he was too scared, I would take him outside and shake him and push him around a bit while saying things that were obviously wrong or hypocritical until he learned to not be so afraid.

[pamela]

Originally Posted by krim

If it happened to my kid, I would teach him whatever he needed to know to stand up for himself. If he was too scared, I would take him outside and shake him and push him around a bit while saying things that were obviously wrong or hypocritical until he learned to not be so afraid.

yikes krim!!
you may end up teaching him to have issues with authority as well

[Michaelangelica]

Originally Posted by Kriminal99

Question... How do they define "delusional" in Britain? Because I could easily imagine a situation where they call anyone who deviates from social norms "delusional" in a country that isn't as much of a melting pot as the US is. .

I think many, if not most, countries are "melting pots" these days, especially GB and Australia.
How does that make a diffence?

Your approach is do as I say, not as I do?

[Kriminal99]

The idea is to teach the kid self reliance and to not fear bodily harm or death. Fear of such things has to do with a belief that the person or thing harming you might be justified in some way. If you realize that the source of the "threat" is not justified in any way and is just a random expression of nature or a game then you stop being afraid and just find a way to overcome it.

The whole point is to teach the kid to disregard false authority... to not submit to anyone who does not have truth on their side. The bully falls into this category just as much as say an ignorant teacher who attempts to use their position to punish anyone who disagrees with them. However I wouldn't persist in this behavior so that he would not be bitter and/or paranoid towards legitimate sources of authority in the long run.

The only way you could even get the kid to accept all social structure authority (false or legitimate) and reject the bully's behavior is to teach him that he must depend on having friends for strength and justification. IMO this just creates a weak and impressionable person in general - and opens the door to other issues like a "charismatic" (read: metaphor spewing bs'er) leader leading his social circle in the wrong direction.