Australia

[Michaelangelica]

Well why not, we have forums on everything else here

I guess the inspiration for this thread came from a recent momentous moment in Australian History
You need to read the fine details and press reports and international reaction and comments here:-
SatireWire | Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes Up in North Atlantic
eg

Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano.
"They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible.
'Who is Ian Thorpe?
Do you have any Tim Tams?
What day is Australia Day?'"

But given that we are apart of this planet; we are sick of being ignored (especially since our recent move)

We fight all USA's wars for them.
Who knows that?

All our defense expenditure is spent on crappy USA second-hand planes and helicopters etc
(We are still laughing about the helicopters the US sold to the Oz Navy that won't fly over water- good one guys)

The $1.1 billion project has become emblematic of Defence's mismanagement of its procurement budget.

Eleven of the maritime aircraft - to operate off the Anzac frigates and equipped with anti-submarine weapons and surveillance technology - were bought in a contract signed in the early years of the Howard Government. Using Vietnam War-era air frames and custom-built

Defeat for Nelson as navy sticks to Seasprite - National - smh.com.au
EG
What the hell is Fall?
The time of year when the leaves fall?
The leaves fall all year here; bark too.

So vitamin D deficiency only happens in Northern latitudes ( see Vit D thread)
No. . it is high latitudes north and south.

Why is the globe the wrong way up?
Australia should be at the top.
(Bets are being taken now about the reversal of the poles)

And What is it with American Football?
They look like sumo wrestlers with all their protective gear.
The wimps need some serious Rugby, Union or Ozzie Rules.
See what a little eye gouging can do to slow up the opposition..

So Americans can't understand Cricket.
Is it our fault that 50% of you have below average intelligence?

So, we are the only county to eat it's coat of arms.
That is a matter for national pride.

ETC ETC
I leave it to my compatriots to help me here with this fascinating cultural interchange and experiment.

As I started the thread I get to choose the rules.
Which are
Any thread has to have a link to Australia (however tenuous).
Preferably it should be amusing, entertaing ,but a good rant (from Ozzies only) is OK
Wiki makes a few staid suggestions

• # 1 Etymology
• # 2 History
• # 3 Politics
• # 4 States and territories
• # 5 Foreign relations and the military
• # 6 Geography
• # 7 Flora and fauna
• # 8 Economy
• # 9 Demography
• # 10 Culture

But I think we can do better than that.

Spot quizzes may appear on other threads to make sure you are awake.
As America now owns all our biscuit (Yes biscuit, the proper name for "cookie")factories questions like
What are Tim Tams?
or
What are Saos?
or
maybe the environmentally significant-
What is a nappy?
or
What is the most famous river-boat race in Australia?
or
Who gave Dame Edna her "Dame-ship"
or
Who is the head of the Australian Government? (See, if you said "Howard" you would be wrong)

might suddenly appear; be warned!

[PuGZ]

What a delightfully bizarre thread.

Also to start us off is the ever-enjoyable etiquette in Australia (and New Zealand) article on Wikipedia. Foreigners always get a good chuckle out of it.

[Jay-qu]

I'd like to add that we also brew the best beer..

thanks

Mate, musta’ been some party! Your still down under. Mate...(wanted to put map here, but haven't figured it out yet)

Seriously though…..My tenuous hold, on Australia?
Back in the 80’s. My older brother John (ret. 28years, USA, Col.); served, with distinction, along side the Ozzie’s, in a soldier exchange program, bivouacked near Ayers rock, been to Alice Springs, seen 80%? of your Country, and has the Medal and Citation to prove it!

He and his family loved it!
Our Mom and Dad loved it!
Unfortunately, I never made it!

But I did receive, a large piece of black licorice from there.
That was absolutely delicious!!

That's also how I found out 'bout the didjeridu. Some days I have the lung power, some days I don't...

I mite make it over, someday.....

Thanks for the memories!

Wanted to add rep, but need to spread.

[Michaelangelica]

Originally Posted by PuGZ

What a delightfully bizarre thread.

Also to start us off is the ever-enjoyable etiquette in Australia (and New Zealand) article on Wikipedia. Foreigners always get a good chuckle out of it.

What a great list (but what's a "new zealand" )

This is one that gets on my goat in US movies

Australians are rarely amused by attempts to imitate the distinctive sounds of Australian English,

I forgot about Fanny

Requesting a fanny pack can be considered obscene due to the use of "fanny" as a slang term for female genitalia. "Bumbag" is the acceptable local variation in some areas.

Did they mention that USA people should not call themselves "Chuck" as this is translated. as a "tecnicolour yawn". So if a US type person says "I'll go and get Chuck", this would mean that he can't hold his 'grog' (=alcohol) - a major social gaffe. All Australians can "hold their grog"
( Well, until they up-chuck or have a technicolour yawn)

"Indigenous Australian" and "Aboriginal/Aborigine" are polite terms. "Abo" is considered offensive as is the use of "Coon" and "Boong" or "Boonga".

I am reminded by this that the term "boy" in Oz refers to a young, immature male person of any colour or race.

On busy escalators, particularly those in major train stations it is expected that standing is done on the left, and overtaking on the right. Similarly in a stairway it is expected that one should walk on the left hand side.

This one amuses me as in the tourist precincts in Sydney ( 500 yards around the Opera House) there are huge signs on the road tarmac which say "LOOK LEFT". This for the 50% of Americans with below average intelligence (With that, and the crocks we loose so many.)

On a personal note may I say thank you to the amazingly tolerant, understanding, helpful, careful USA motorists- when I was in the USA- who told me politely that I was driving on the wrong side of the road. Which I only did when going around corners, when tired or drunk.
USA defensive driving skills are good.
Please do not expect the same courtesy and understanding when visiting Australia.
Australians are the best drivers in the world. Anyone who offends the most minor, stated or unstated, road rule will get horns blown at them, aggressively verbally abused, "the finger", or at worst a 'punch up'.

Thank you.
NB
(A note to Australian posting on this thread. Please feel free to correct the imperialistic and ignorant spell checker by adding whatever words you think necessary to to its limited dictionary)
The first test is being designed now
eg
Why was the "most famous river boat race in Australia" canceled one year?

[Buffy]

Originally Posted by Michaelangelica

This one amuses me as in the tourist precincts in Sydney ( 500 yards around the Opera House) there are huge signs on the road tarmac which say "LOOK LEFT". This for the 50% of Americans with below average intelligence (With that, and the crocks we loose so many.)

And what about those crazy Right Turn lanes in Victoria? I thought I knew how to drive on the wrong side of the road until I went to Melbourne...right turns from the left lane: are you people out of your minds?!?

Vegemite with a Fosters chaser,
Buffy

What does the OK hand signal,
(index finger touching thumb, with middle, ring, and little finger in the up position), mean in Oz?

Given to a rude driver in some countries in Europe....
Means your an A__Hole.

When I give it, it means that everything is as allright as its gona get! For now.

I understand your pain, My Mon is Polish,(See what I meam?)..
My Mom is Polish and Dad, Bless his soul, is
Lithuanian.

Different strokes for different folks...What makes the world go round.
Eh, mate?.......

[Michaelangelica]

Originally Posted by Buffy

crazy Right Turn lanes in Victoria? Melbourne...right turns from the left lane: are you people out of your minds?!?
Vegemite with a Fosters chaser,
Buffy

Yes. . . well. . . we try not to talk about Victorians . .:sigh: and it is considered gauche to mention the word "Melbourne" in earshot of a Sydney-sider.

For those interested in Oz politics ( and WHO wouldn't be?).
The advent of a new political party is big news.
This is a part of their website at

SatireSearch - Powering Satire

Introduction

The Irony Party of Australia, though not in the strictest sense an official political organisation, nevertheless represents the fledgling efforts and collusion of some of Australia's most rarefied minds in pursuit of the highest and most onerous offices of Government.

Initially our philosophies and policies will clearly reflect the high ideals which we believe carry the greatest kuidos in the Australian community. We. . .

. . .
Domestic Policy

The Irony Party is not a one issue party, solely focused on Irony and verbal sleight of hand.

[Michaelangelica]

Originally Posted by chendoh

What does the OK hand signal,
(index finger touching thumb, with middle, ring, and little finger in the up position), mean in Oz?

Rarely seen in Australia and best not used, you may be mistaken for a 'Pommie'.

A certain rude form of it is used by Greeks.
(Melbourne is the second biggest Greek town in the world).

More common is the upthrusting index finger, which I think, is a compliment on your driving skills.

With such a multicultural community, occasional, body-language miss-understandings occur.
(Did you hear of the Cronulla riots? Picture below.)

No, I have not, was this the lunch break?