Roman Essay Paper

[asimon2006]

Anthony Simon
10/30/06
WHSTP-AP


Roman’s Exquisite Lifestyle

The Romans were a mighty and luminous civilization of which their specific duty was to instruct the principles of morals and democracy which based their status of religion and laws. The Romans expanded their vast empire by engulfing other nations. The Romans were powerful by having warrior king who demonstrated what they can do by visualizing the world and to unite all peoples. The Romans were very furtive for enforcing boys and women to go under extreme diets and to build a muscular and intellectual society.
The Romans were stressed upon their aristocratic rule and their superb examples of democratic examples as well. The Romans contributed their time on the fundamental understanding of engineering. The Romans judged people by evidence and what they done. The Roman’s society emphasized the importance of a tight family structure, with a husband and father firmly in control.
There were varieties that were important to make a political form that came from the Romans. The Roman republic had a moral sense of responsibility and preoccupation. Rome had well-built unique individuals that were leaders or tyrants that governed his society. One of the prime forces leading to establish an empire was the ascension of commercial agriculture in Rome. Slavery was the work to be done faster as a whole group. Products that were luxurious were part of the urban shops that had been made by artists or craft workers who played a role for the upper class of lifestyle.
Romans gave the world ideas, inventions, stories, democracy and citizenship which play a huge part in our American society. A large number of citizens do take part in daily affairs. Citizens participate in government through elected representatives. In our federal and state courts, a jury could make the final judgment by banishing away a person who was a threat.
The Romans had a uniform set of legal principles that practically enforced their government practically enforced their government rules. The Romans had technological advantages and made advancements that dwarfed those of other civilizations of years beyond. It is their advancements that were taken for granted which made them one of the most prevalent and influential peoples on our society today-2,000 years after their fall to a new civilization.


My teacher gave me 45/100.


I have a poll of which what grade I should really have.

[moo]

No idea without more information (such as your grade level, and whether English is your native language).

I may be hearing "The Romans...The Romans...The Romans..." in my dreams though...

moo

[InfiniteNow]

I voted 10 without even reading it... Mostly because you've come here to ask such a question in the first place.


"My boss gave me a bad review and I only got a 2% raise. Would you have done the same?"

Come on, now. This is a science forum.

[TheBigDog]

I gave you a 20, only becasue I wanted to appear more compassionate than InfiniteNow.

What is the point of this? Perhaps you shold open a topic in History for discussion of the Roman Empire, using your paper as a starting point. Ask good questions, and you will get good answers. Ask great questions and you will get great answers. The key is that the questions you ask will be answered.

Bill

[pgrmdave]

well, your grammer is terrible, your sentance structure just as bad. There is no sense of transition or coherent idea. Here's a good example of a bad sentance:

Slavery was the work to be done faster as a whole group.

This sentance doesn't mean anything. It's not a well-formed english sentance. Not only that, but you sandwich it between

One of the prime forces leading to establish an empire was the ascension of commercial agriculture in Rome.

and

Products that were luxurious were part of the urban shops that had been made by artists or craft workers who played a role for the upper class of lifestyle.

So we go from talking about commercial agriculture (it even sounds like a good topic sentance!), to an incoherent rambling about slavery, to an odd sentence about the upper class. There is no sense of a coherent idea there, the reader isn't sure what you're trying to say.



Your teacher was generous.

[Southtown]

What exactly is a 'luminous civilization'? And how exactly does one instruct a principle? I think you just over-complicate your sentences until you lose track of subject/predicate relationships. You also don't think very deeply about your noun/verb relationships or your adverb/adjective usage. All of which are grade-school level concepts.

What subject is this class in? And what grade level? Such info would help me gauge your relative performance percentage-wise.