Fortunately...Unfortunately...

[pamela]

time has just reverted exactly 1 1/2 hours ago, when keiths pal the alien,and time travelling kinda guy, although snubbed, painstakingly had to reverse the future and save the earth from the texas sized asteroid.Unknown to all, it had been driven off its course by yet another evil villian, Larv, master of kentucky bourbon and quite fond of moonshine elixir as well

[freeztar]

Originally Posted by Larv

Unfortunately, a Texas-size asteroid hit Pamela's garage and erased all traces of biological life in the upper biosphere. Fortunately, the deep hot biosphere survived, but it will take another three billion years before the upper biosphere is re-seeded and sufficiently re-evolved so that this story can continue.

Fortunately, Keith had built a fallout shelter in 1959 on a vacant piece of land just outside of the suburbs. By keeping up with astronomy, a small group was able to escape the asteroid's ravage by identifying the threat long before it was announced to the public.

[Larv]

Originally Posted by freeztar

Fortunately, Keith had built a fallout shelter in 1959 on a vacant piece of land just outside of the suburbs. By keeping up with astronomy, a small group was able to escape the asteroid's ravage by identifying the threat long before it was announced to the public.

Unfortunately, Keith built his fallout shelter on a piece of land owned by a coven of lesbian witches who kept eunuchs as slaves. They took it away from Keith and his family and cast them out into the lethal landscape, where they died. Now, this severe bottlenecking left no hope for repopulating planet Earth with bumans. As such, the head wiccan announced with detectable anxiety: “All you wicci-bitches and ball-less dweebs had better come up with a plan. Anybody know anything about cloning?”

[Larv]

[deleted]

[TheBigDog]

Fortunately the universe is ruled by a benevolent deity who came into power in a rigged election. He looks down on the recently pulverized planet and takes pity. With a few simple keystrokes he puts the breath of life back into the victims of the asteroid, and inexplicably turns the oceans into tequila.

[freeztar]

Originally Posted by Larv

Unfortunately, Keith built his fallout shelter on a piece of land owned by a coven of lesbian witches who kept eunuchs as slaves. They took it away from Keith and his family and cast them out into the lethal landscape, where they died. Now, this severe bottlenecking left no hope for repopulating planet Earth with bumans. As such, the head wiccan announced with detectable anxiety: “All you wicci-bitches and ball-less dweebs had better come up with a plan. Anybody know anything about cloning?”

(Wow, ok )

Fortunately, Keith had left some cloning blueprints for the Wiccan Sisterhood.
They were able to use the basement lab to start their cloning procedures.

[TheBigDog]

Originally Posted by freeztar

(Wow, ok )

Fortunately, Keith had left some cloning blueprints for the Wiccan Sisterhood.
They were able to use the basement lab to start their cloning procedures.

Unfortunately, with the worlds water supply turned to tequila the cloning process didn't happen exactly as planned. The clones have some interesting... "features".

[pamela]

fortunately for the clones, whose features, yes of course would match those of the most beautiful villain Pamela, were able to successfully adapt, as they too had her passion for tequila.Eagerly and with that intense meditative state, ( cause ya know Pamela, being quite fond of Mr Mooney), were able to make a conscious connection with their matriarch, Pamela. Meanwhile, Larv, while swilling some elixir, tapped in and thought he would give her a visit as well.Together now and clone army in tow, they left for Nibiru, with the now priceless petrone. Keith on the other hand, having doused himself in the ocean, was not too thrilled at the pepe lopez quality but unfortunately........

[freeztar]

Unfortunately, the tequila was not adapted to fast enough and the dehydrated clones started to die as quickly as they were manufactured.

[Michael Mooney]

Fortunately, Michael Mooney, aka mik-I-el, the Enlightened One is not only the master of meditation and telepathic communication, he is also one with god and, as Creator, He resets the whole scenario to an alternate reality where everyone is enlightened regardless of manufactured status as clones of the beautiful villain Pamela or of their addiction to tequila and other mind altering substances, and , needles to say, restored all those who died to a life of joyful inebriation and very trippy and permanent epiphany... which awakened them to the realm beyond all such vices.

The Enlightened One... aka God as/in "this one."

(Whether or not this is the end of the story, it is the end of my pseudo-sermon!) M