Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

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Old 05-06-2006   #1 (permalink)
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Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

The Rapture Index is the Dow Jones of End Time Prophesy.

Satanism is up a few points in Russia, but Index remains steady at 155 due to lack of Apostasy. [whew...]
(on a scale of 60-180 )

So when the Rapture Index reaches the threshold, the 1 Billion good, worthy Christians will suddenly disappear and get whisked away to Heaven to spend in eternal bliss forever.

While all the rest of the religions and you non-believers are stuck in an Earthly Hell.

You are not Doomed however, Hypographers! thats the good news!
Accept Jesus as your savior and do not get the mark of the beast.
This will assure your rightful place in Heaven next to God.

Here you can see the Index,the categories, and its highs and lows:

http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

Please, heed it!
I want to see everybody in Heaven, ok?

How do/can we adjust the Rapture Index for the better, to prolong an Earthly existence?
Or should we purposely screw with it so we can get to Heaven that much quicker?

Can you imagine if one day you woke up, and Earths 1 Billion Christians suddenly disappeared? the whisking away part is supposed to happen relatively fast and unexpected.

Its only fair that you have been warned.

Last edited by Racoon; 05-06-2006 at 05:01 AM.
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Old 05-07-2006   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

O god i tremble before your awe inspiring power. now where's the buffet cheese?
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Old 05-09-2006   #3 (permalink)
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Smile Re: Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

Rapture!?
I thought that was ilegal or immoral for christians?

Yesterday was the 150th anniversary of Freud's birth.
Caught litlle bits of arecording of him talking on a BBC religious programme.
Fascinating stuff.
The reporter said Freud always thought religion was a sign of "our immaturity as a race" and the reporter commented that Freud would be horrified by the worldwide resurgence in Fundamentalism
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Last edited by Michaelangelica; 05-09-2006 at 08:16 PM.
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Old 05-09-2006   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

i dont get it....did you repeat yourself on purpose? am i missing the joke? : \
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Old 05-09-2006   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

Sorry better?
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Old 05-09-2006   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Rapture Index: Are You Ready?

lol. guh gugh gughgughg
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