Or am I just crazy?
I use the term "god", because it is the most popular of the gods. I'm not saying you should believe, believe in something else, cease to believe, or flat out not care. But, for the sake of this thread, "my idea", just play along with me.
* Be offended, be critical, and I will have won whatever "game" we were playing along in.
** "my idea" meaning someone was bound to think of this before I. But, I would like to get in on paper. Or thread of paper.
We'll start from the end of the day, and work our way back. To the end of the day, before the end of this day.
End of this day consists of prayer. Sitting, or kneeling, in your room, all alone talking to "god." Possibly telling him all the shit that went on in your day, week, month, or even your year. Hoping that he responds with a silent "I'll be there for you." You ask "god" for forgiveness, ask for help, ask, ask, ask, and if you get around to it a quick amen. Then, the next morning you hope something good happens to you during the day, via your imaginary freind, "god". You trust "god" to do what you ask because he has unconditional love for you. But, when "god" does nothing, you think "Well I probably didn't
need today, what I
wanted yesterday. Fuck it." and you press on. But, in reality, who are you talking to during prayer? Who else is listening in on your requests? I got an answer,
YOU!!! Does that make you "god?" I guess that's up to you to decide.
Hopefully I made my point clear, or at least got someone to laugh at that. Either way there's plenty of time before we get to sunrise.
Before your nightly ritual you probably did some television watching, checked your emails, posted on hypography, sat on your ass after a nice supper. Hopefully not your last supper. But hey, you believe in "god" so if tomorrow never comes you'll be sitting on your ass, but this time in "heaven." Which is a lot different than earth, so I've heard. Definatly, not
getting it in the ass, this time in "hell." Which is a lot different than earth, so I've heard. Side note, isn't it better to give than it is to recieve? We'll tackle that one in another thread.
During supper, you scarffed down your four big macs. Before hand you, argued with your wife about wanting her to make a homecooked meal. Because hell, you had a rough day at work, and now you're hungry. All your wife did was, take care of the kids, with the occasional 9-5 gig. Plus, "god" didn't come through for
you today with
your requests, so you're a little down in the dumps. Big surprise. So you're thankful of the dinner that was bestowed upon you, and now it's time to sit. After that, you'll probably have that little discussion with "god" about today. So "god" can make tomorrow different, right? Sure.
Ah, work. You only like work, when you love working. You only love working if you like the people you work
with. But, I see no relationship there. So we'll press back.
You drove your 88 accord to work, getting ANGRY at the crazy 19 year old kids. Who are also trying to get to work or school. You have no choice but to steer clear, because your accord is still in need of a new transmission. Which you've been praying for one, to appear magicly on your doorsteps, everynight. You check in the morning on your way to the newspaper, but "god" hasn't delivered. Yet again. I better not see you pout. Because the big man didn't think you needed it, and I'm going to have to agree with him on that one. In the paper you found a really insparational article. About a dog that walked 1,337 miles to his owners. After the family relocated, and leaf the dog for dead. Thank "god." Press back.
Jesus, it's 5:30 already. That six hours of sleep felt like 30 minutes. So you grab breakfast, damn fine eggo's if you do say yourself. Wish your kids and wife a good day. Tell them you love them, and go out to work. Not without your five cups of coffee, and a stop at the expresso stand for that quadruple shot to really get the job done. Getting to work early but, someone else got there earlier, grabbing your spot. So you get to park across the street, a half a mile away. Off to a good day so far. Begining the work day with a little exercise. Thank "god." That is, for giving me what I needed, but didn't want to do for myself.
That was a really dumb situation. Sadly, I see people live that way day to day. I had to fill in some of the blanks and exaggerate here and there. But, it's not like the most popular book of all time doesn't do the same. I see people close to me, putting all, or most of their trust and love into "god." The imagnary freind for all ages. Doing nothing for themselfs because "god" didn't think they needed it. Possible doing good for someone close to them, if they're not too busy stressing over, well, life.
Well Adam, Eve and yourself (or visa versa) have a surplus of apples given to you from "god" knows who.
Which you have gratefully taken. I mean shit, free apples. We all know an apple a day keeps the godctor away. But, why keep all these apples for yourself? Keeping them in what? A bag? That you place on your shoulders. Slowly gaining weight. Creating stress, starting at the shoulder bone. Which the shoulder bone's connected to the, back bone. And the back bone's connected to the, hip bone. The hip bone's connected to the, leg bone. The leg bone's connected to the, foot bone. After years of stressed out feet it, starts building. Going back up to the, leg bone. Right back up to the hip bone. Keeps going up to the, back bone. Back to where it started at the, shoulder bone. Building on up to the, neck bone. Which the neck bone's connected to the, brain bone. The brain bone's connected to the, lip bone. The lip bone's connected to, someone elses ear bone. Their ear bone's connected to their, brain bone. Their brain bone's connected to an, artery bone. The artery bone's connected to the, heart bone. Childrens anatomy song with a hint of truth? Or do I need to keep going?
I for one, don't like the feeling of being stressed. I got a tip from "the devil" on how to solve this little problemo. So now I usually give two apples to someone that tries to give me one apple. It usually ends up that they unknowingly hand me their unwanted apple, and I just chuck my two at them. That way, that person knows not to fuck with me, and that I don't want thier shitty apples. But, I'm willing to take their apples for them. Then, I haven't depleted my arsenal, for the next apple-givin-snake.
I have my own bag of apples. Everyone has there own bag, we just can't see them. So take my apples in rememberance of me. I'll try to leave a mark so you really remember. Hopefully after my victim has licked their wounds. All the apples dust settles, and they're hungry for more. They'll have an idea as to what they're getting into, when they even
reach for an apple to give me. A few more apple relieving exercises, and they might come to understand why, or avoid me at all costs. Now, if we can come to an agreement, I might be willing to give and take little nibbles, instead of whole apple(s). That way, we can save that stress for, yes another, apple packer.
Untill then, stock up on your apples. You might need them when you get to my point. One misplaced step, to crossing the line into insanity.
Just incase "god" posts on these forums, and decides to read through this thread. I have a heavenwork assignment for you.
True/False
1) You have my heart, but the devils got my shoulders.
2) The "god" bone's directly connected to the, "devil" bone.
3) There is no 3.
4) 3 is true.
5) You must judge my soul, upon my bodies death, to see if I get into heaven. Even though you are the everything, the all knowing, the omnipotent one.
It all makes sense if you break the 2nd commandment. Combine with do unto yourself what "god" has done unto you. That love and trust thing. Maybe my definition of love and of trust, differ from those who came before me. But, maybe I was raised in a different time.
