(Sociology) what do you say when your wife/girlfriend says "

[REASON]

Originally Posted by Michaelangelica

Well, any suggestions on what is the perfect reply when your wife/girlfriend says:-
"Does my bum look too big in this?"

Likely translation: "Do you think I look fat?"

The truth of the matter Michael is that it really doesn't matter how you answer.

SHE HAS ALREADY MADE UP HER MIND ABOUT IT, AND SHE THINKS IT DOES. OTHERWISE, THE QUESTION WOULD HAVE NEVER COME UP.

A man's reply to that question is directly related to how sensitive he is to her self esteem concerning her weight. If she is self conscious about it, than you must walk a fine line if you are going to protect her feelings. If she is not, than the question is really about the appearance of the clothes and it is easier to be judgemental about the outfit.

But just saying, "Of course not," will probably not change her mind about it anyway so you might as well take the high road. But don't over flatter her in that moment or she'll know you're FOS.

I think the best reply is something like this:

"I don't think so. What do you think?" or "I think it looks fine but I'm guessing you don't agree.

If you're really good, "I think your bum looks great in and out of everything." But you're walking the fine line of being considered FOS with that one.

Whatever you say, just make sure your intentions are honorable.

[Buffy]

Well Michael, see what I mean? Lots of them need help. Unfortunately, some are beyond help!

Mr. Reason: I'd be happy to let your wife borrow my iron skillet if her's is worn out!

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition,
Buffy

[DFINITLYDISTRUBD]

This one's soooooooooooooooo easy! (having been married for more than a decade and being quite the sensitive type)

I have yet to be asked any of the dreaded "Honey do I look" questions.
But if she ever asked....I'd give her a kiss and a hug accompanied by
"No honey...such a perfect lil bootie"

Of course if you tell her she's sexy EVERY DAY (and really mean it) she won't ask you to begin with! (Wifey is pretty convinced that my eyes are ALOT worse than I admit too)

Oh yah one other thing NEVER LIE to her and never get caught in a lie by her!

Also note "Yes dear" while suitable for most occasions will likely get ya kicked in the lads for this one!!!!!!!!

[REASON]

Originally Posted by Buffy

Well Michael, see what I mean? Lots of them need help. Unfortunately, some are beyond help!

Mr. Reason: I'd be happy to let your wife borrow my iron skillet if her's is worn out!

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition,
Buffy

What!? You gotta be kidding Buffy. You're gonna give me the skillet treatment for that advise?

You don't really think the average intelligent woman is likely to fall for the old "drop your jaw, widen your eyes and say "you look *amazing* in that!" trick, do you? You don't think that's a bit overcooked? Women can't see through that while they're trying to figure out what's wrong with the way their outfit fits? They probably figure that we're not only FOS but we obviously have bad judgement about clothes as well. Don't you see the no-win situation this puts us in. Why do you think INow suggested to just change the subject?

Maybe what I don't get is that this situation isn't really about clothes at all. Maybe it's a way in which someone is soliciting a compliment.

Well, you're going to have to elaborate. You can't just say I don't get it, crack me over the head with a skillet and walk off. If I'm in error, I'll be glad to admit it, but you can't just leave me hangin'.

How are we ever going to get this trick question right?

[Buffy]

Originally Posted by REASON

Maybe what I don't get is that this situation isn't really about clothes at all. Maybe it's a way in which someone is soliciting a compliment.

Ya think?

Originally Posted by REASON

...but you can't just leave me hangin'.

Woman's prerogative!

Originally Posted by REASON

How are we ever going to get this trick question right?

I honestly don't know! Men are soooooooooooooooo confusing!

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing --- and then they marry him,
Buffy

[DFINITLYDISTRUBD]

we obviously have bad judgement about clothes as well.

And yet they still ask our opinion!!!!!

My wife still hasn't got me trained. (as far as fashion sence goes)

I have no idea what goes with what and more importantly don't care.

[freeztar]

I'm telling you, turn it into a joke in a complimentary way and you're not only off the leash, your home free. Another example of how to do this is to say "Well, let me see..." and get really close (with playfulness, like a tiger...rawr). By that time she should either be laughing/giggling or beating you away with her words/high heels. Play it by ear from there.

But I'm with you Reason. Your reply sounded great to me but what do I know, I'm just a dude.

To Buffy's reply of "ya think?", referring to Reason's post above, I'll propose that it's more about attention than compliments. My girlfriend will frequently ask me questions such as the aforementioned when I'm immersed in a personal activity such as finding a good news morsel for the Hypo community. I've learned that it's best to stop what I am doing and interact with her. After a few moments of careful attention, I'm awarded with about 15 minutes of solitude (or more, depending on how many outfits are involved). [please note that this is a {reality-based} joke, I immerse myself in her presence when she is near; she is my queen and when I put her on a pedestal, I become not a servant, but a king]

So in summary:
Make a funny -> Give attention -> Repeat

[Buffy]

Originally Posted by freeztar

I'll propose that it's more about attention than compliments.

There's a difference?

Originally Posted by freeztar

My girlfriend will frequently ask me questions such as the aforementioned when I'm immersed in a personal activity such as finding a good news morsel for the Hypo community. I've learned that it's best to stop what I am doing and interact with her. After a few moments of careful attention, I'm awarded with about 15 minutes of solitude (or more, depending on how many outfits are involved).

Sit! Roll-over! Good boy! Have a Scooby-Snack!

Originally Posted by freeztar

I immerse myself in her presence when she is near; she is my queen and when I put her on a pedestal, I become not a servant, but a king]

...and that's why Freezey gets a free pass!

I can live two months on a good compliment,
Buffy

[Qfwfq]

Originally Posted by REASON

But just saying, "Of course not," will probably not change her mind about it anyway so you might as well take the high road. But don't over flatter her in that moment or she'll know you're FOS.

This is where you totally fail to understand a woman.

Originally Posted by REASON

You don't really think the average intelligent woman is likely to fall for the old "drop your jaw, widen your eyes and say "you look *amazing* in that!" trick, do you? You don't think that's a bit overcooked? Women can't see through that while they're trying to figure out what's wrong with the way their outfit fits? They probably figure that we're not only FOS but we obviously have bad judgement about clothes as well. Don't you see the no-win situation this puts us in. Why do you think INow suggested to just change the subject?

That's very logical REASON, but are you sure IN's advice is what'll will keep her darning your socks until the grave?

Originally Posted by REASON

Maybe what I don't get is that this situation isn't really about clothes at all. Maybe it's a way in which someone is soliciting a compliment.

Le coeur a ses raisons que (la) RAISON ne connaît pas.

[InfiniteNow]

Originally Posted by Qfwfq

That's very logical REASON, but are you sure IN's advice is what'll will keep her darning your socks until the grave?

It works for me.


The true thing to remember is that there is no absolute right answer, just a series of "less wrong" ones.