07-04-2008
| #582 (permalink) | |
 Creating | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor The survey Last month the UN conducted a worldwide survey with one question: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant In South America they didn't know what "please" meant In the US they didn't know what "rest of the world" meant. | |
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07-04-2008
| #584 (permalink) | |
 Married man     Sponsor   | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor Hey! I know where the rest of the world is: Alabama, Florida, North Carolina. But I'm not aware of any food shortages there.  ---------------- Hypography Science Forums Moderator --- "There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew." - Marshall McLuhan "We must not forget that when radium was discovered no one knew that it would prove useful in hospitals. The work was one of pure science. And this is a proof that scientific work must not be considered from the point of view of the direct usefulness of it." - Marie Curie | |
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07-04-2008
| #585 (permalink) | |
 Astounding Vision | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor Check this link for opus' take on the gas crisis. http://www.comics.com/wash/opus/arch...8062174669.jpg ---------------- Michael Life is the poetry of the universe. Love is the poetry of life. Nuclear is the only real option! http://www.nuclearspace.com/Liberty_ship_menupg.aspx Check this out http://www.conservationfisheries.org...ream_lines.htm Over heard from a three year old, "Daddy why do my toes get sticky when I eat strawberry jam?" Never wrestle a troll. You both get dirty and the troll likes it   | |
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07-08-2008
| #587 (permalink) | |
| Astounding Vision | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor That's really great infini, best i've seen in a long while. ---------------- Michael Life is the poetry of the universe. Love is the poetry of life. Nuclear is the only real option! http://www.nuclearspace.com/Liberty_ship_menupg.aspx Check this out http://www.conservationfisheries.org...ream_lines.htm Over heard from a three year old, "Daddy why do my toes get sticky when I eat strawberry jam?" Never wrestle a troll. You both get dirty and the troll likes it | |
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07-08-2008
| #588 (permalink) | |
 Slaying Bad Memes  | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor Jeezus Aitch Cryst, InfiNow, you've blown my cover! Now wattamy gonna do with all these copies of Newton's Principia????????????  ---------------- Hypography Forums Moderator -- - - - - - What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way people think things are. Epictetus, Greek Philosopher The map is NOT the territory. Korzybski, Polish-American Philosopher | |
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07-12-2008
| #589 (permalink) | |
| Astounding Vision | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor DIARIES DOG DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY CAT DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. ---------------- Michael Life is the poetry of the universe. Love is the poetry of life. Nuclear is the only real option! http://www.nuclearspace.com/Liberty_ship_menupg.aspx Check this out http://www.conservationfisheries.org...ream_lines.htm Over heard from a three year old, "Daddy why do my toes get sticky when I eat strawberry jam?" Never wrestle a troll. You both get dirty and the troll likes it | |
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07-14-2008
| #590 (permalink) | |
 Holy cow! | Re: Quality Jokes and Humor One for the girlz...  ''THE WORLD 'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!' Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said:'NO!' And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, did what she pleased with her money, and had all the hot water to herself.She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. The End ---------------- Hypography Forums Moderator IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Bovinely blessed be thee. | |
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