Masturbation

[InfiniteNow]

Originally Posted by Pyrotex

No thespians were harmed in the making of this fantasy.

Yeah, I fantasize about those quite often...


Oh... wait. You said thesbians. Never mind, that's something else entirely.

[Pyrotex]

Originally Posted by InfiniteNow

Yeah, I fantasize about those quite often... Oh... wait. You said thesbians. Never mind, that's something else entirely.

Ha ha! Snort! You thought I said, "Lebanese", dintcha???

[Rebiu]

Originally Posted by Pyrotex

It is very probable, almost a certainty, that most healthy men (I can't speak for women) will experiment with a lot of fantasy types, including ALL you have mentioned. And more. There can be several consequences:

1. You discover the fantasy really isn't very erotic after all. You never do it again.
2. You discover the fantasy is erotic, but somehow, your conscience just can't handle the moral/ethical overload, and you focus on more vanilla fantasies.
3. You discover the fantasy is so erotic that you worry that you might try to actually carry it out in Reality someday if you don't quit now. Shazam! You focus on more vanilla fantasies.
4. You discover the fantasy is so erotic that you do it all the time. The fact that it is verbotten in modern society doesn't bother you at all because the fantasy is so un-realistic, that it CAN'T be done in Reality, at least, not the one we live in today. So damn the torpedoes, full sperm ahead!!!
5. You discover the fantasy is so erotic that you do it all the time. The fact that it is verbotten in modern society doesn't bother you at all (or after a while, anyway) because you know that you will NEVER attempt it in Reality. Your morals and ethics are rock-solid, and you know the difference between fantasy and reality. So damn the torpedoes, full sperm ahead!!!
6. Same as 5, but somehow the erotic intensity of the fantasy blinds you to the reality of "consequences" and you start obsessing about doing it in "reality" whatever the risk. You pay a prostitute to act out her "part", perhaps. Or maybe even, your obsession becomes a delusional compulsion and you wind up facing serious prison time as a "pervert".

I have had at least one #4 fantasy that I was very fond of for a number of years, until I got bored with it. Our social system today rendered it "impossible" to actually do, unless I could find a talented actress, but I never did, because I knew that I would know that she was just acting. No thespians were harmed in the making of this fantasy.

Well said.

[Boerseun]

Originally Posted by Pyrotex

Ha ha! Snort! You thought I said, "Lebanese", dintcha???

Sooooo... from which part of Lesbia are you from?

[Pyrotex]

Originally Posted by Boerseun

Sooooo... from which part of Lesbia are you from?

Queenston.
On the coast between the twin peaks, Mammalia and Lactose.
6969 Labia Lane, just two blocks off the Vagistrata.

The women there do not speak English. They communicate with a combination of hand signs, body language, facial expressions, and a variety of hums, grunts and moans.

That's right. They're cunnilingual.

[Rebiu]

Originally Posted by Boerseun

Sooooo... from which part of Lesbia are you from?

I believe the word Lesbian come from the Island of Lesbos where the Greek poet Sappho lived. She wrote poetry about love of other women.

[alexander]

This is the best thread ever, i swear i never laughed like that in the last year at least... but aside from this discussion being extremely entertaining...

Speaking of masturbation... (what's the title of this thread again?)
I have been hearing rumors of new cyber-gadgets being made and sold. No one seems to know any specific details, except that these devices plug into the USB port of your computer (at one end) and "into" or "around" naughty bits of the human anatomy at the other end. The "naughty" part of the device can be controled by someone else on the internet.

What are your thoughts, folks?

i am thinking whether there are any flaws in the protocols, so perhaps you could send some sort of spoofed signal to change frequencies or put that thing into an infinite loop or ....
never mind, but it would still be pretty hilarious if you know what i mean....

[Pyrotex]

Originally Posted by alexander

This is the best thread ever, i swear i never laughed like that in the last year at least... but aside from this discussion being extremely entertaining.....

Of course, it's the best thread ever! Number one, it involves sex. And number two, it's a subject that everybody is an EXPERT on, yet we NEVER talk about it with others. Therefore, everybody has got a LOT to contribute to the thread.

Okay, dudes & dudettes, let's get serious. Stop all the snickering and giggling, and sober up. Jacking off...I mean, masturbation is a serious subject that affects us all. It involves our very own bodies. And it's something that we all do, or at least we CAN do, with a little hands-on experience. So, we need to realign our minds away from the comical and back to the clinical.

Okay! So I propose a serious question. What are all the English language euphemisms for masturbation? Ready? Go!

1. Jacking off
...

[InfiniteNow]

Originally Posted by Pyrotex

1. Jacking off

2. Choking the chicken
3. Spanking the monkey
4. Massaging the one-eyed trouser snake
5. Twiddling the willie
6.


STOP!!

Those are all specific to the male... females masturbate too! Now that gender must have some interesting masturbatorial colloquialisms!

[Pyrotex]

Originally Posted by Racoon

...What are the female colloquialisms?

Hey Buffy!!! Get down here to the Masturbation thread and give us a hand!!!